maybe its her eyes

maybe its her eyes, so warm, so blue.
maybe not at all,
I don't know, but I love her.

maybe its her face, beautiful, but stern.
maybe its not that,
I'm not sure, but I love her.

maybe its her ears, attentive, and careful.
could be something else,
I can't say, but I love her.

maybe its her lips. forming kisses and instructions.
not sure if this is it,
it could be, why I love her.

maybe its her laughter, rich and full, ever contagious
though I strive to hear it,
even sorrow, helps me love her.

maybe its her hands, gentle and helpful
working until weary,
even lazy, I always love her.

could it be her wit? so quick, so sharp
I'd hate to do without it,
but without it, I'd still love her.

maybe its her body, I can't deny it, I sure like it.
it only got me started,
toward the reasons, why I love her.

maybe shes so smart, she'd never say it, but its true.
I couldn't know so much,
but I know, I still love her.

maybe its her love, steadfast... though shaken
though I couldn't bear to lose it,
its not the reason, why I love her.

maybe its the person, the full package, all the contents.
though I never really know for sure,
all the reasons, all the answers,
its all I want to do,
to shout it, to scream it,
to tell her, I love her.

our world

we live in a real world,
a world that wants to tear us apart,
a world of hate,
sin, and deception.
our world.

we exist in this phase of reality,
and no matter what people say or want
or believe, here we are.
in our world
some people get hurt
and some people die;
some people strive for things
their whole life...
and never get them,
our world.

in our world
many people will give 110% ...
and lose; a quarter back
might throw his last great pass of his career,
and watch it be intercepted,
the sun will go up
and the sun will go down
and justice will never be seen
by some; while others may never
see their rescuer arrive or
experience the hero
of the story riding in to
save the day.
our world.

in our world
many people live very lonely lives.
some people never get
that second chance to make things right.
while others may live and never know love
or true friendship
our world, our home.

this is our world,
this is where we live
and this is what we face
there is no getting around it.
our world, our destiny?

but why?
why does it have to be
this way? why are things hard?
why must i face it?
why... why... why...
our world, why?

the why has been answered
in times long past. our world
was not intended to be this way,
and it never should have been...
but it is, why?
why, is not the question.
why, is just a complaint,
it is a child's cry, a baby's whimper,
a lame excuse.
because the why has been answered.
we are the reason why.
we are the cause of the hurt
and the pain and the hardship
and the loneliness. we are the cause
we are the reason why
our world, is us!

ahh, yes... but don't give in,
don't fall into despair or sorrow
for there is hope...
there is escape from this world
there is escape from this vapor,
this passing mist. but those trapped
in this world won't see it
they refuse to accept this world
for what it really is.
is it reality? is it for sure?
is this the scope of our existence?
is there a chance for us?
a chance to exist the way it should have been?
yes...
in our world

O what a hope we have
for our great creator has offered us
an escape from ourselves.
to die to what we were,
and to become
what we should have been,
to be made alive and right and
what we should have been to begin with
and even though we live in
a harsh reality, there is something
more real, more solid, more lasting.
where the lonely have a friend,
where the heartsick
are delved into an overwhelming love,
where there is someone
always paying attention
and is outraged at their losses
where the hurt and bleeding
have hope and comfort and healing,
where they can exist in another world
while walking around here
in ours
our world, not our home

a song for son 1 and son 2

O my son,
You were born in a world that hates you,
And I swear I will never forsake you,
But there was a Father centuries ago
Who watched His beloved Son die.

O my son,
I am weak and I'm trembling,
For the Lord I am always remembering.
O what a strong shepherd holds you in His arms!
He'll break you and make you His own,
and then take you home.

Well, if I could I would protect you
from what you will see.
This world may promise love and beauty
but it lied to me.
And I will show you,
if you will listen,
And I will promise
to listen, too.

Yes, there are some who love the lies.
They will kill you if they can,
Though you speak the truth in love.
They will hate you like The Man -- Jesus.
Although He was God,
He allowed Himself broken for you.

And, if I could I would protect you
from what you will see.
This world just might seem so alive
but it's dead to me.
And I will teach you,
if you will hear me,
And I will promise
to hear you, too.

O my son,
I am only your brother.
For a sister, God gave me you mother.
But just like the mother so long ago
Had to watch her beloved Son die,
O son, we will try to let you go.

(---Keith Green)

a quote

a quote
"Love is not primarily a feeling, Love is a conscious choice to seek to meet the needs of others..."
- Steve Viars

the boys

the boys
7:00 am - woke up to the noise of the boys

7:45 am - the boys finished off the package of extra large honey buns which I purchased for myself

8:30 am - left with the boys to go to Wal-Mart to get an oil change on the van

9:45 am - have looked at shoes, clothes, toys, tools, garden supplies, and a few other things... the van is almost done

10:00 am - on our way to Columbian Park, after finding out that the oil could not get changed on the van because they have a policy that says that they cannot change the oil if there is a rubber temporary plug in the oil pan... oh well

11:45 am - played at the park and looked at the animals; on our way to McDonald's for some burgers, fries, drinks, and the playpark

1:00 pm - leaving McDonald's to go home

altogether a good day... I love those boys

my friend

Last night as I was on my way to bed, I stopped by my son's room. I went inside and saw that he was still awake (as usual) so I crawled into bed beside him.

All evening he had been asking me to play with him... I never did. I had been "too tired" or "too busy" or "talking to mommy" or lame excuse, lame excuse, lame excuse...

After I crawled into bed with him, he snuggled up to me. I whispered in his ear, "I am so sorry that I didn't play with you tonight." I was getting ready to say some more, but before I could, he reached over and put his hand on my face, and said, "That's ok daddy, I forgive you."

We talked for a little while longer, and then I went to bed. It was a sweet moment that I won't forget for a long time.

Even though I don't think of him this way very often, he is not only my son, he is also one of my truest friends.

I usually don't use absolute words, but let me tell you a couple of "always" things about Sam...

He ALWAYS wants to be with me.
He is ALWAYS happy to see me.
He is ALWAYS sad when I have to leave.
He is ALWAYS sorry when he has been wrong.
He ALWAYS forgives me when I have been wrong.
He will now and ALWAYS love me no matter what.

I will ALWAYS love "Son #1". He is one of my truest friends.

grace

"Those who cling to worthless idols forfeit the grace that could be theirs."

- Jonah (from inside the belly)