The sad life and death of Dolores Aguilar (From Rodney Olsen)

I found this over at Rodney Olsen's blog and just wanted to pass it along...

 

 

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The sad life and death of Dolores Aguilar

via RodneyOlsen.net by Rodney Olsen on 8/21/08

What do you hope people will say about you when you die? Does it really matter to you?

Sometimes I wonder who'll turn up at my funeral when my life here is over. Will those who do show up have good things to say or will their silence tell a different story?

I will have no chance to control what's said when the time comes but I can do something about it while I'm still here by the way I choose to live my life.

Will I leave friends and family with good memories? I guess that's up to me and the choices I make every day of my life.

I wonder about what kind of difference I'm making to the wider world. Will I be missed by more than those close to me? Will there be those I've never met who will be thankful that I was once alive? Am I making a difference through my work and through the the volunteer tasks I undertake?

I was saddened to read the following obituary for a lady who died earlier this month.

Dolores Aguilar
1929 - Aug. 7, 2008
Dolores Aguilar, born in 1929 in New Mexico, left us on August 7, 2008. She will be met in the afterlife by her husband, Raymond, her son, Paul Jr., and daughter, Ruby.

She is survived by her daughters Marietta, Mitzi, Stella, Beatrice, Virginia and Ramona, and son Billy; grandchildren, Donnelle, Joe, Mitzie, Maria, Mario, Marty, Tynette, Tania, Leta, Alexandria, Tommy, Billy, Mathew, Raymond, Kenny, Javier, Lisa, Ashlie and Michael; great-grandchildren, Brendan, Joseph, Karissa, Jacob, Delaney, Shawn, Cienna, Bailey, Christian, Andre Jr., Andrea, Keith, Saeed, Nujaymah, Salma, Merissa, Emily, Jayci, Isabella, Samantha and Emily. I apologize if I missed anyone.

Dolores had no hobbies, made no contribution to society and rarely shared a kind word or deed in her life. I speak for the majority of her family when I say her presence will not be missed by many, very few tears will be shed and there will be no lamenting over her passing.

Her family will remember Dolores and amongst ourselves we will remember her in our own way, which were mostly sad and troubling times throughout the years. We may have some fond memories of her and perhaps we will think of those times too. But I truly believe at the end of the day ALL of us will really only miss what we never had, a good and kind mother, grandmother and great-grandmother. I hope she is finally at peace with herself. As for the rest of us left behind, I hope this is the beginning of a time of healing and learning to be a family again.

There will be no service, no prayers and no closure for the family she spent a lifetime tearing apart. We cannot come together in the end to see to it that her grandchildren and great-grandchildren can say their goodbyes. So I say here for all of us, GOOD BYE, MOM.

It's hard to imagine that anyone would write such an obituary but they did. I checked this one out on Snopes just to make sure it wasn't a hoax.

How devestating to think that this woman could have made such an impression on the world she left behind. How sad that no one thought enough of her to even arrange a service to farewell her.

When they finally shut the lid on the box and send me on my way, I hope that someone will shed a tear. How do you hope to be remembered?

 

 

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