"I was only joking!"

Like a madman who throws firebrands, arrows, and death is the man who deceives his neighbor and says, “I am only joking!” (Proverbs 26:18-19, ESV)

Three word definitions might be helpful here:

1. "madman" -- This word is only used twice in the Bible. It means "flaming" and can be translated as such. "madman" or "maniac" are also appropriate translations of this word. It is also translated as "enchantment" or "occult fire" in other versions of the Bible. 
2. "throws" -- also translated as "shoots"
3. "deceives" -- This word actually means "throw." It can mean "deceives" ... not in the sense of lying or tricking... but in the sense of causing one to stumble. It is also translated as "throw" or "betray"... 

The remainder of these two verses is very adequately translated. I add these definitions, not to protect one from making this passage say "too much" but to keep it from saying "too little." 

The "I am only joking!" mantra of some has become the cover-all for any of our words that we have "tossed out" there. Quite often we haven't been careful with our words, and they have landed in a soft spot on someone's heart. Many times we don't even realize this: especially in our "I just love to give you a hard time" society, where ribbing someone has become a love-language of sorts. Many, when they are most honest, will admit that they have been stung by another's ill-placed words.

Though it is glorious to overlook such wounds, we may need to rethink a few things. Maybe the problem isn't that some are just "too sensitive" but that we (as a society) have become too insensitive. We expect others to get over their wounds and toughen up more often than not. 

Instead of priding ourselves on our quick wit and thick skin, shouldn't we, as Christian, work even harder to make it our practice to let every word that comes out of our mouths, be good for building others up? 

Next time you find yourself diminishing someone's injured feelings with "I was only joking" ... try instead to say, "I am genuinely sorry that my words hurt you like that. I appreciate your willingness to be vulnerable by pointing this out. I want you to know that I will be working harder at being more careful with my words. If this ever happens again, please... please... don't hestiate to bring this to my attention. You really matter to me, and I want to only say things to you that will build you up, not hurl you to the ground."

Jesting

I occasionally read a little devotional called Days of Praise.  It is put out by the Institute for Creation Research and I think most of them are written by Henry M. Morris, a well-known creationist and Biblical scholar.

Last week I read one about joking and jesting that really caught my attention.  I believe that he shares a valid point: a point that left me thinking over the next couple of days and a point that shouldn't simply be shrugged off.  I especially found the second paragraph to be helpful, it is something that I have wondered about before, but I will let you be the judge.

It is the devotional dated October 11th, 2011.  It is titled Not Convenient.  Here is that devotional in its' entirety:

"Neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor jesting, which are not convenient: but rather giving of thanks." (Ephesians 5:4) 

It seems surprising that "foolish talking" and "jesting" would be condemned as things that should "not be once named among you" (v. 3). Yet here it is, and commentators usually assume that the foolish talking and jesting so condemned really only apply to filthy talking and filthy jesting. After all, the popularity of many Christian speakers today seems to be measured by the amount of jokes and witticisms they inject into their messages. 

This is a sensitive subject, and each Christian should conscientiously decide for himself what God is saying here, through Paul. In any case, it seems significant that the only reference in the Bible to "jesting" is a warning against it. It is also significant that one can never find this element in the sermons of Christ or the letters of Paul or anywhere in the Bible. The Bible writers seem to have believed that sin and salvation were such sober, serious issues that there was nothing there to joke about. We read several times of Jesus weeping, but never of Him laughing. The Scriptures often refer to "rejoicing," but never to "having fun." 

Furthermore, Jesus warned that "every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment" (Matthew 12:36), and Paul exhorted us to "let your speech be always with grace" (Colossians 4:6). Our text says that foolish talking and jesting are "not convenient" for a Christian. Other things "not convenient" include the list of 23 sins in Romans 1:28-31, beginning with unrighteousness" and ending with "unmerciful." 

Whether or not we can justify certain "convenient" times for jesting, there is one thing we can know is always convenient--that is, "giving of thanks." HMM

What do you think?  Is it possible that our American emphasis on having a good sense of humor and knowing how to have fun has shifted into something that we actually believe is a priority?  Have we allowed our culture to alter the truth that the Bible teaches.  It is easy to see that in other cultures, but when you live and breathe within a certain culture, it only follows that identifying your own biases may not be that easy.