November 11, 2003

Dad

One of my biggest regrets is not going into the military. It never fails, every time there is a Veteran's Day Chapel, or Memorial Day... 4th of July... etc. Anything patriotic stirs up feelings of regret.

One possible reason that I regret not joining the military could be that I truly respect those who have fought in the military. I honor their decision to join when they were able to. And many of them are truly respectable people. Maybe it is because of their service that they are respectable, or maybe it is usually the respectable people that join up. It is quite possibly a little bit of both.

Another possibility is that I have a deep desire to be pleasing to my dad. My dad was (and always will be) a marine. He is a Vietnam War Veteran, and proud of it. And I have to say that I am too. I still consider joining the reserves. I just recently found out that they will still accept you up to the age of 35. If I could work it into my summer schedule, I would do it. Growing up, (even though there were many times that I was frustrated and mad at my dad) I can say that I have never been ashamed of him. In many ways I still want to be like him. And I think that I partly regret not going into the military, because I still want him to be proud of me (not that he isn't proud of me) but all of the hardship would be worth the reward of the praise of the father.

Whatever the case, I regret not being a part of it all. I do think that it flows over into my desire to gain the praise of my heavenly father. To one day stand before him and hear him say, "well done! You've fought the good fight!"

I still have 4 years to decide. Maybe one of these summers I will find myself in some boot camp, making my dad proud! But until then I am going to try my best to make him (and my heavenly father) proud of me.