Post Pastoral Thoughts No. 1: Should I Stay or Should I Go?

For those who are new here: 

If you are new here, then you may need a slight introduction to this post. I'll start with the basics. My name is Matt Harmless. I have been a math teacher for 24 years (with a short stint as a disciplinary dean, but that's another story). For the last 14 1/2 years I was also a bivocational pastor.  For those unfamiliar with the term, a bi-vocational pastor is one who normally would be a full-time or part-time Pastor, but would then have another job. This second job could potentially be full-time but its primary purpose was to help make ends meet. I, of course, got that backward. I had a full-time job as a school teacher and then decided to try to take on pastoral work. This inevitably led to what came next. 

Ep. 68 - Navigating Two Aspects of my Job (As a Pastor)

Episode 68 - Listen Here: 

For those that do not know: 

My name is Matt Harmless. I am in my 23rd year as a math teacher. All but one of my first nine years of teaching were in the private Christian School setting. The rest of my career has been in public education (with the last seven years at Danville High School in Danville, IL). I have also been a pastor at Edgewood Church in Danville since the summer of 2009. I share this information for those that might be new here, but also as an introduction to today's post. 

I am going to discuss two aspects of my job, but not my teaching job... my pastoral job. I may take some time to talk about aspects of being a teacher in another post, but I wanted to make some specific points about my job as a pastor. More specifically, I wanted to discuss two things that Paul the Apostle mentions in his letter to Titus. 

What is Old and What is New

In the Gospel According to Matthew, right after a section of recorded parables, we read this: 

[51] “Have you understood all these things?” They said to him, “Yes.” [52] And he said to them, “Therefore every scribe who has been trained for the kingdom of heaven is like a master of a house, who brings out of his treasure what is new and what is old.” 

Matthew 13:51–52 (ESV)

I have no idea what this means. 

I love it. It is wonderful and marvelous and mysterious. Important truths have been opened to me in the reading of this short little parable. But I don't really know what he is talking about. 

I do know that I genuinely want to be a scribe who has been trained for the Kingdom of Heaven. 

"...there is foul air down there, or I am no guide."

Click to listen to the audio of this post being read by the author: Me!

The Fellowship.

In The Fellowship of the Ring, the first book of the Lord of the Rings Trilogy, the Fellowship (the group that has been tasked with protecting the ring-bearer and escorting him to Mordor) find themselves traveling through a mountain via some ancient Dwarvish mines. Though always looking to Gandalf the Wizard as their guide, they find themselves more dependent on him in the Mines, seeing as he is the only one who has actually made this particular journey.  The movies portray this moment well, but I would like to share the book's version of this part of the story: 

It was after nightfall when they had entered the Mines. They had been going for several hours with only brief halts, when Gandalf came to his first serious check. Before him stood a wide dark arch opening into three passages: all led in the same general direction, eastwards; but the left-hand passage plunged down, while the right-hand passage climbed up, and the middle way seemed to run on, smooth and level but very narrow.

'I have no memory of this place at all!' said Gandalf, standing uncertainly under the arch. He held up his staff in the hope of finding some marks or inscription that might help his choice; but nothing of the kind was to be seen.

Podcast Episode 25 - Can Christians Get Tattoos?

 

This podcast episode was originally uploaded in the Fall of 2017 (I believe). It is the one-and-only episode from a podcast that I was going to call, "Ask Pastor Matt."  It flopped, not because it wasn't a good episode, but because I never made another one. Well, I'm back at it, so I thought that I would upload this one and get it back out there. 

Two Degrees of Separation

What happened Saturday morning.

It started with me… wrestling with the scriptures this week. (Actually, the last several weeks.) This Socially Distant preaching has been difficult, but now I have an opportunity to preach to people directly, and it feels just as difficult, mostly because I’ve been away! (Out of practice.)

Saturday Morning... I had already studied, read the commentaries, wrestled some more… but Saturday morning, I still felt unsettled in my choice of what to preach on. I had gotten up and while I was sitting in my chair, sipping my coffee, I prayed and started this way, “Lord, I wish you would just tell me what to say. Cause I would say it. Seriously. If you just told me what to say, I would say it.”

A little secret insight on me: Sometimes I will pray and instead of asking for something, I will say, "I wish."  I do this when there is something that I would like, but I don't believe I necessarily ought to be asking for it... but I still want to ask for it. I still sorta hope I could ask for it. That is what I was doing this morning. But then I sat there for a moment, and I adjusted my prayer… “ No… Not ‘I wish’ that isn’t what I mean. I usually say, ‘I wish’ when I’m not really asking for it, I just want it. This time I mean it, I am asking for that. Just tell me what to say, that is what I ask. I’ll say it!”

I finished my coffee and sat there for a couple more minutes.

Truth must be told, my next action was to head to the restroom. I grabbed my kindle on the way... sorry for the graphic mental image I am painting for you… but it must be told how this happened. I sat down. (Again, sorry.) I turned on my Kindle, and it loaded the book that I had been reading most recently: “When the Man Comes Around” a commentary on Revelation by Douglas Wilson. I picked it up and read this:

So this is how it works: Jesus speaks, and then He tells John to write what He has spoken. The implication is that the angel of the church is to speak what he has read. So Jesus speaks, John writes, the angel reads, and the angel speaks.

Alright… Just so you know the context… I had just read in this book previously:

So we know that the seven lampstands are the seven churches and that the Lord Jesus was walking around in the midst of His churches. The seven stars that He held in His right hand are the seven “messengers,” or pastors of these churches. The sword in His mouth is His Word, which He gives to the successive pastors in the upcoming passages.

That is the paragraph right before that little paragraph that I read. This means that the “angel” that John refers to in this portion of Revelation is the pastor of a church. Douglas Wilson writes in another portion of the book (explaining in more detail): 

The word angel need not refer to what we would call an angelic or celestial being. John the Baptist was called an angel (Mark 1:2). Human beings are called angels in the Old Testament also (Job 1:14; Is. 42:19; Mal. 2:7; 3:1). And the word is used by Luke to refer to ordinary messengers. Jesus “sent messengers (angels) before his face: and they went, and entered into a village of the Samaritans, to make ready for him” (Luke 9:52; cf. 7:24). Now of course it is possible that the angels of the first chapters of Revelation are celestial beings, but in my view this creates many more problems than it solves.

I knew this about Revelation, so I understood that idea when I read my little paragraph. I read "angel" but thought "pastor" when I was reading that... that little paragraph that I am beginning to believe God had queued up just for me. I think you should read it again, but this time, take into consideration a couple of things. One: I had just been praying, “God, please just tell me what to say… Give me the words to speak.” That thought was still rolling around in my mind as I read that paragraph. And two: I was hearing "pastor" when I read "angel"... Here it is again:

So this is how it works: Jesus speaks, and then He tells John to write what He has spoken. The implication is that the angel [pastor] of the church is to speak what he has read. So Jesus speaks, John writes, the angel [pastor] reads, and the angel [pastor] speaks.

I’ve been reading all week… not knowing what to speak. I don’t want to oversimplify the process or underplay the importance of study and the ongoing development of improving my communication skills… but in a real way: Jesus speaks, the writers of scripture write, the pastor reads the scriptures, and then the pastor speaks.

Online Church @ Edgewood Danville for April 5th, 2020

Here is the pre-recorded online devotional for April 5th, 2020.

God has granted you all those who sail with you.

About a year ago, I ran across a verse that gave me a measure of comfort. That verse is Acts 27:24.  It is right in the middle of a story involving Paul the Apostle, a ship, a storm, and an angel. (The angel is the one speaking to Paul in the verse:

... and he said, "Do not be afraid, Paul; you must stand before Caesar. And behold, God has granted you all those who sail with you."
Acts 27:24 (ESV)

The last half of that verse resonated with me.

Even though I am never really alone, I was feeling alone at that time...  I was feeling like I was by myself in the work of the ministry.  I knew it wasn't true, but that feeling was working on me and I found joy in these words... especially thinking of our church as a ship and the ones who "sail with me."

I even set it as my background on my several of my devices for the next year...

"God has granted you all those who sail with you."  Acts 27:24b

It dawned on me today... I have two very difficult jobs.

It dawned on me today... I have two very difficult jobs.

Now, if you know me, and you know my two jobs... you are probably thinking... "duh."

For those of you who do not know me or do not know me that well, allow me a moment to tell you about my two jobs.

Those who fear God, should they see me and rejoice?

"Those who fear you shall see me and rejoice,
because I have hoped in your word." 

~Psalm 119:74

This is King David writing. In this passage he says that those who fear God will see him (David) and rejoice. The reason for this rejoicing is because David has hoped in God's Word. I find this to be quite interesting.  I mean, could I (and should I) be able to say this as well?

I am trying to imagine myself saying it... "Lord, the people that fear you are going to rejoice when they see me."

OK... That is poorly phrased. I am aware that saying it in that way is emphasizing the wrong way to say this. First, I have left out an entire phrase, the key phrase that is demonstrating the real source of the people's rejoicing! Second, I placed the source of the rejoicing squarely on me, which is not where it should be. This poor phrasing serves its purpose illustrate the problem that I am having though: For King David to say this, that is fine, but for me to say something like this feels prideful.

But maybe I could say something like this.

If I am hoping in God's word, that is a reason to rejoice. It is definitely a cause to rejoice in people who fear God. Maybe I should say this... Maybe I should not hold back, but cling to the Gospel of Jesus Christ! There is nothing good in me, but because of the grace of God alone, I am hoping in the Living Word! People who fear God will rejoice when they see this!

Maybe I could even go the next step... hmm... (Saying to myself right now, "Tread carefully on Grace, Matt.  Cling to the Gospel! Matt, you are a sinner, but saved by the grace of God alone. And as a preacher of this same Gospel, it must be said... not because of you, Matt, but because of the truth of God's Word.")

"Let those who fear you turn to me,
that they may know your testimonies." 

~Psalm 119:79 ESV

Occupational Hazards of Pastoring a Church

Enjoying some Mad Goat Coffee at the moment... Sharing quotes from my current study...

One of the occupational hazards of pastoring a church is the necessity of delivering bad news. If you love your people, you desire to encourage them and tell them news they want to hear. But since you don’t get to decide how God feels about things, your words are not always your own.
~Peter Hubbard (Love into Light)

So very true.

The Pastor's Kid by Barnabas Piper - Book Review

I was immediately interested in a review copy of this book from Christian Audio for two reasons.

One, a book called The Pastor's Kid: Finding Your Own Faith and Identity was written by a Pastor's Kid, but not by just any Pastor's Kid... It was the Pastor's Kid of all Pastor's Kids... Barnabas Piper (Son of John Piper). That is interesting.

There is a bit of sarcasm there, obviously. Barnabas Piper isn't really the Pastor's Kid of all Pastor's Kids. Especially since John Piper has other kids! And yet... there is still something in the name. A book written by any of John Piper's children would be of some interest to me, and surely he knows that as well.

Second, and this reason is a bit more important to my heart, I have two Pastor's Kids living in my house. They are my two sons, and I have an ongoing concern for them. As far as I can tell, my boys are doing great. I love them to death, they are not perfect, but I am exceptionally proud of both of them. They both display talents and skills that remind me of myself, but also far exceed myself. They seem to be doing well, and for the most part, happy with life and aware of those spiritual realities that pertain to them. But I am not so naive to believe that my being a Pastor, and especially a bi-vocational Pastor, doesn't have an affect on their lives... and I'm sure it isn't all positive.

So, my interest was piqued, now it was time to listen:

I found this book to be very convicting. Barnabas Piper writes with an openness and honesty that had a tendency to cut deep. It was eye-opening. I became aware of many things that my boys encounter, that I hadn't put much thought into the affect on their lives. It was honest. He was transparent about his home life with its positives and negatives. It was interesting to hear him say that he didn't really care about John Piper's sermons... they aren't that important to him... but then he said that he would much rather sit down with his dad and have a conversation. In other words, he isn't really concerned about Pastor John Piper, but he loves John Piper his dad. Interesting, isn't it?

This book was also Biblical. I will admit, not as Biblical as John Piper's books, but this book was personal and experiential in nature, which changes things. But it was still Biblical. Through the course of this book, as challenges were shared, he continually pointed back to the Grace of God found in Christ.

This book was also filled with quotes from several other PK's from around the country. Their insights were very valuable to me, and it has given me something to consider about my own children's lives.

Barnabas Piper did the audio of this book as well. I love when a book is read by its author. There is something extra that comes through when the author takes the time to read through their own work. There are bits that might not have seemed important, that because of the way the author reads those lines, you know there was something meaningful there.

I would recommend this book, not just to Pastors or their Kids, but to anyone in a church. What a PK faces is somewhat unique. Everyone in the church should keep this in mind and remember that PK's are sinners too, just like you. And PK's need the grace of God, just like you.

Eloquence is from the Lord

I was sitting at the dining room table this morning, attempting to work on some words to say at a funeral service later today. I was having trouble collecting my thoughts, so I turned to my Bible reading for the day, and I was ready for Exodus chapter 4. Here is what I read:

But Moses said to the Lord, “Oh, my Lord, I am not eloquent, either in the past or since you have spoken to your servant, but I am slow of speech and of tongue.” Then the Lord said to him, “Who has made man's mouth? Who makes him mute, or deaf, or seeing, or blind? Is it not I, the Lord? Now therefore go, and I will be with your mouth and teach you what you shall speak.” (Exodus 4:10-12, ESV)

I don't know about you, but this happens more often than not. I have opened my Bible numerous times in my life, only to find myself reading the exact thing that I need to hear. Today it was a reminder that eloquence is from the Lord.

Coalition for Community Involvement

On November 21st, at 7pm, in the Georgetown Ridge Farm High School Cafeteria, there will be the first meeting of the GRF Coalition for Community Involvement.  This event is open to anyone in the Georgetown Ridge Farm Community.

Tonight I will be sharing the vision of the Coalition, with a key aspect on emphasizing Open Doors.  Even though this is not geared toward Churches or Christian Organizations, it is an amazing opportunity for Pastors and other Church Members to get involved in kids lives.

If you know anyone in the Georgetown Ridge Farm Community, or just someone who cares about this community (they don't have to have children in the school or even live in this community) then please pass this along.  This includes Pastors, Church leaders, Church members, Business owners, Law Enforcement, City Leaders, Public officials, Family members, Grandmas, Grandpas, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, and any other Concerned citizens.

Please Pray that this meeting goes well and loads of people will show up.

Appreciated...

I knew something was up yesterday... I just couldn't get anyone to spill the beans.

Who Stole My Church - Book Review

A couple of weeks ago a lady in my church, who has been at the church since I was about five years old, told me she was reading a book that she thought I might enjoy.  A couple of days later she handed me the book and told me that I could borrow it if I wanted.  The book was called,Who Stole My Church? by Gordon MacDonald.  The subtitle is, What to Do When the Church You Love Tries to Enter the 21st Century.  It was feeling a bit too close to home, needless to say, I was a tad nervous.

But then I started reading the book.

Here is the premise of the book:  Gordon MacDonald, a real-life Pastor and the author of this book, decided to tackle the challenging topic of Church Change and Church Reinvention by writing a story.  He uses himself and his wife as real characters in the book, but the church and the other characters are all fictional.  He then begins to break down the different topics commonly associated with change through the form of dialogue.  He allows you to discover the correct conclusions by watching the characters discover them as they converse and experience the Bible in relation to Christ's Church in the day to day. He also steers you away from harmful and destructive attitudes by giving you a glimpse of what those stubborn attitudes look like in the real world with real people.

I absolutely enjoyed this book.  I made it through the first half of the book in my first sitting. And since then I have been telling people all about it every chance I get. I am looking forward, if this lady in my church won't mind, to loaning it to others in the church.  I am also considering purchasing a couple of other copies to pass out in the church, I would love to just give a few of these away.

My favorite part of this book is near the end when the topic shifts away from music (and other typical change related discussion) to those who might enter our church. What might they experience?  How are they received?  Lets talk beyond the surface and dig into our hearts.  If we are honest, many of us only want those who will make us feel comfortable coming in the doors of our church.

If you get a chance to pick this up, it is worth the read.  Especially if you are in a church that feels like it is being reinvented or if it needs to be reinvented!

windows into the reality of God

Yesterday I read through the entire Gospel According to John.  I did this, and will hopefully do this several more times, as preparation for our upcoming study on this Gospel.  I also started blogging my way, verse by verse, through this book.  I am up to John 1:12 as of this morning.  To cap it off, I started reading some commentaries on John, to get a better feel for the book.  It has been very interesting and enlightening, after only a few days, but it has also had a negative effect on me: I am starting to feel overwhelmed by this task. I am starting to realize that this Gospel account, even though the simplest of people can read it and find encouragement and insight, it is also very, very deep.

It's uniqueness was my first clue.  Now, I have known for quite a long time that John was different than the other three gospel accounts, but I didn't realize how unique it actually was.

It omits so many things that [the other gospel accounts] include.  The Fourth Gospel has no account of the Birth of Jesus, of His Baptism, of His Temptations; it tells us nothing of the Last Supper, nothing of Gethsemane, and nothing of the Ascension.  It has no word of the healing of any people possessed by devils and evil spirits. And, perhaps most surprising of all, it has no parables...
William Barclay, The Daily Bible Study Series, The Gospel of John (Volume I)

Some of those differences I was aware of, but more than one of them was a surprise to me.

These unique aspects, along with many other tidbits that John includes, that the other Three Gospels do not, are not meant to be interesting points of trivia, so you can win that next game of Bible Trivial Pursuit.  No, this is important to the whole understanding of this book.  Why did John not include these other items, what was his goal, what was he trying to get across.  Why was John so selective in the stories that he did include?

William Barclay, learning from Clement of Alexandria (A.D. 230), shares what he believes is the key insight into understanding this Scripture.

The feeding of the five thousand is followed by the long discourse on the Bread of Life (chapter 6); the healing of the blind man springs from the saying that Jesus in the Light of the World (chapter 9); the raising of Lazarus leads up to the saying that Jesus is the resurrection and the life (chapter 11).  To John the miracles were not simply single events in time; they were illustrations, examples, insights into that which God is always doing and what Jesus always is; they are windows into the reality of God. ...

He goes on to say,

John did not see the events of Jesus' life simply as events in time; he saw them as windows looking into eternity, and he pressed towards the spiritual meaning of the events and the words of Jesus' life in a way that the other three gospels did not attempt.
William Barclay

I am seeing these glimpses through the windows already in my own reading of John, and it is making my head spin.  I wish I had more time to study this book before I start preaching it, but I believe that God is leading me to this Gospel account for just these reasons.  With several new people at our church, I believe that what they need to see and learn most of all is who this Jesus actually is.  I suppose I will just have to use the extra time that God has given me.

If you are the praying sort, I would appreciate your prayers, that I might speak boldly the mystery of the gospel. (Ephesians 6:19-20)

Being an Introverted Pastor/Teacher

Sometimes when I read a blog or an article, it strikes a real chord in my heart.  The other day my wife pointed me to this post on the Desiring God blog that did just that.  I think it struck a chord in her heart on my behalf as well.  I believe that was because it put to words what I experience in my own life.

The blog was about a discussion with John Piper reflecting his 33 years in ministry.  The sentences that caught my attention were:

“It’s amazing how many introverts go into ministry,” Pastor John said of himself and others. But it’s true. For many pastors, hanging out with people is physically draining. “A lot of people would say that’s a bad thing; you should repent of that and turn around and either do something else, or start loving to hang out with people.” 

Or, he said, introverted pastors can use their strengths to intentionally love people. Extroverted pastors and introverted pastors, if they’re born again, both love people, but there remains a tension for the introverted pastor who defines love exclusively in terms of activities in the presence of people.

He went on to discuss how he learned to be who God had created him to be in ministry. It was encouraging to hear.  Mostly because I love the people of my church, genuinely love them, but I have always found personal interactions to be challenging.  Not because I don't want to interact, but I just don't feel good at it. Plus, I love just being at home with a book.

Piper goes on to say,

Plead with God to make your in-disposition to be with people a blessing to people. In other words, I would say after 33 years, my default after preaching is to go home and pray and read, not to hang out for three hours over a meal. That’s my disposition. I do hang out for an hour and pray with people, and I’m glad I do, and it is rewarding to do it.... If you're wired that way, instead of constantly praying God would make you another kind of person, pray that he would make you really useful for people. I think he’s done that for me.... 

I believe what people have benefited from me most is what I have seen in the Bible. I don’t think I have blessed Bethlehem much by being a good organizer or a good model of personal evangelism. I can list a lot of ways they have not benefited from me. But, if I don’t despair, if I say there’s been some good done, I know where it came from — it came from me taking notes over my Bible and wrestling to see how Hebrews 10:10 and 10:14 come together, that was this morning; seeing something I’ve never seen before in the text, and walking into a staff meeting and telling them; walking into a hospital room and telling her; walking into the pulpit and telling them what I saw. And then going home to see some more. 

Take what you see, and then if you’re a writer, you write it. If you’re a preacher, you preach it. If you’re a hanger-outer, tell the hanger-outters-with what you saw this morning.

You can read the entire article by clicking here, that will also take you to a link where you can watch/listen to the entire discussion that happened at Redeemer Bible Church.

Kidnapped Devotions

Every once in a while I will be reading a book or listening to a speaker and I will hear a phrase that cuts me to the quick.  This morning I was listening to the Christian Audio version of Paul Tripp's new book, Dangerous Calling .  It was already challenging me with the openness of the author, but then he said something that stuck in my mind the rest of the ride.  He said that a Pastor's...

"... preparation will regularly kidnap their devotional time."

Whoa.  Absolutely guilty here.  I have even purposely done that.

My excuse has usually come in the form of understanding that a Pastor's preaching should flow from their devotional time.  I don't necessarily think that my devotions should stand as a completely seperate entity, but I will quite often feel that I've spent some personal time with my creator if I have been studying for a sermon. Quite frankly, it is not the same thing.

I only have the audio version right now, through Christian Audio's wonderful reviewer's program.  I think that I am going to have to purchase the book in print or for my Kindle.

Nine Marks of a Healthy Church - Book Review

Earlier in the year our church covered the book What is a Healthy Church?  The longer version of that material is found the the book called the Nine Marks of a Healthy Church by Mark Dever. To prepare for the Wednesday night teaching, I read through this book to help me prepare.

I was drawn to this book because I am the Pastor at a very small church.  And when you are the pastor of a very small church, you find yourself constantly questioning your own abilities and measuring your effectiveness by the number of people in the room.  I mean, surely if I was doing what God wanted me to do, then this church would grow... Right?

Wrong.

There are many cases in the Bible of Men doing exactly what God wanted them to do, and their lives weren't marked by popular success.  Noah didn't have one convert believe in his message of judgment.  Isaiah's message was that people weren't going to believe it.  And Jesus was eventually abandoned by all of his followers and crucified.

So, I needed another way to evaluate our church.  I had been reading the Nine Marks blog for a little while, so I decided to grab this book from Amazon and give it a read. I then grabbed the down-sized version and used it during our Wednesday night teaching time.  Everyone seemed to enjoy it and we walked away with some changes that need to be made and some confidence that we are doing some things right.

The Nine Marks are:

1. Expositional Preaching
2. Biblical Theology
3. Biblical Understanding of the Good News
4. Biblical Understanding of Conversion
5. Biblical Understanding of Evangelism
6. Biblical Understanding of Church Membership
7. Biblical Understanding of Church Discipline
8. Biblical Understanding of Church Leadership
9. Concern for Promoting Christian Discipleship and Growth

Though there are several other ways to evaluate your church, I found this one to be extremely helpful and essentially Biblical in nature.  Even asking about being "healthy" instead of "successful" is such an important aspect.  I highly recommend this book, and encourage you to click the link above and start evaluating your church.