Post Pastoral Thoughts No. 1: Should I Stay or Should I Go?

For those who are new here: 

If you are new here, then you may need a slight introduction to this post. I'll start with the basics. My name is Matt Harmless. I have been a math teacher for 24 years (with a short stint as a disciplinary dean, but that's another story). For the last 14 1/2 years I was also a bivocational pastor.  For those unfamiliar with the term, a bi-vocational pastor is one who normally would be a full-time or part-time Pastor, but would then have another job. This second job could potentially be full-time but its primary purpose was to help make ends meet. I, of course, got that backward. I had a full-time job as a school teacher and then decided to try to take on pastoral work. This inevitably led to what came next. 

Parables Will Do A Thing More Bold

Here is a piece of poetry inspired by Luke 8:4-15. I wrote this as I was studying for my upcoming sermon that I will be preaching on Sunday, October 24th, 2021, on this passage. 

The stories that our Savior told,
unlike sweet scripts from modern fold
those pictures that our preachers mold,
parables will do a thing more bold.

Good preachers like to make it clear,
but Jesus would those secrets steer
only to hearts that have an ear:
parables are heard by those who hear.

Sown seed: God's Word, so rest assured
a heart that's hard is what's referred
when on trodden path lands the word,
parables are snatched up by a bird.

To stony ground some seed will fly

start quickly, growing toward the sky

no root is there so by and by
parables in shallow hearts will die.

On thorny ground with weeds in play

overgrown lusts put on display

with other loves fed day by day

parables will soon get choked away

But many seeds land in good soil

take root and grow without recoil

the sower cares not for wearied toil

parables will not always spoil.

Good dirt has room for seed's new shoot

tilled, watered, and manured suit

so in the heart God's Word takes root

parables produce abundant fruit.

Dual purpose: sown word to the field.

For many its truth has been concealed,

but those who have produced a yield

parables were God's word revealed.

I hope this is helpful and enlightening.

Some Tamped Sand (in my backyard)

 

A Harmless Guide to Being a Better Man

 This blog post will also serve as Episode 36 of my Podcast.

This Guide is Harmless

I would like to present to you, without any introductions or fanfare, the Harmless Guide to Being a Better Man.  This post is meant to be a companion to the upcoming book release and the made-for-TV movie.  Well, OK... that part is not true at all.

 The Harmless Guide to being a Better Man is, at its core, a two step process. Keep in mind, though, these two steps aren't like the two steps leading up to a comfy patio with a reclining lawn chair... they are more like the two types of steps that one will take to get anywhere: a step with the right foot and a step with the left foot. In other words, these two steps aren't a "1 and 2 and ... done!" They are ongoing, forever progressing, sometimes more difficult (like stairs), sometimes more cautious (like stepping stones across a creek), sometimes changing the rhythm or direction (like when playing a sport), and sometimes with greater effort (like when running).

In honor of my father-in-law, who by the way, actually is a great man, I will apply some of his advice in the typing of this post. He once told me, "K.I.S.S. -- Keep It Simple Stupid." ... and I wasn't even offended that he did it right before I started preaching!

Waiting

 My wife and I are waiting. 

We don't like waiting. It isn't our favorite. But I noticed this morning, as we were discussing our waiting, that we are handling it in different ways: my wife an I. The one way of dealing with it was not better than the other way, it was just different. For me, even though I am an analytical person, I don't tend to analyze these sorts of things. I tend to bundle them up in a little cubby of my mind. The stressors and anxiety-producing realities find a quiet little home in a quiet little part of my mind. I wrap them up in my blankie in that cubby. I check in on them from time to time, but quickly divert my attention to my job-related "squirrels"... My Adult ADD finds this to be the easiest thing to do.  Squirrels naturally grab my attention fairly easily, so the squirrels of homeroom videos, discipline referrals, tech-help requests, lunch duty, and front door duty allure my focus without any hesitating. I'm not saying it is healthy or appropriate... It is just my go-to.  

My wife, on the other hand, tends to analyze the situation. She asks the hard questions of herself when dwelling in the waiting. Things like, Why is this difficult? What am I really wanting? What is God teaching me? etc. To be honest, my hunch is that her way of dealing with the waiting is better than mine. 

In each of our individual methods, neither of us was escaping a side affect of waiting: It was still leaving each of us with a drained feeling - A sense of having our strength sapped away. So while discussing this experience, over our coffee-drinking experience, a passage of scripture from Isaiah came to me - just a phrase really - but it had me scratching my head. The phrase ended up coming from Isaiah 40:31, which says, "but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength..." (Sung, of course... Petra style.) This phrase came to my mind because the "wait for the LORD" wasn't resulting in anything that even remotely looked like a renewal of strength. 

I shared this snippet of scripture with my wife, again Petra style, along with its head-scratching sentiment. She shared my sentiment, so we felt the need to dig into the context of Isaiah 40 to determine why our heads needed scratching and why our strength wasn't renewing but was being sapped. As a result of our digging, I would like to share with you the entirety of Isaiah 40, along with a few tidbits of commentary along the way. I would like to do this because the picture that is being painted, leading up to verse 31 (the final verse of that chapter with that phrase) explains why one would have renewed strength when waiting for the Lord. Not to give everything away, but it seems that the renewed strength isn't a result of the waiting, but of all that leads into the waiting, and the need for renewal may actually come from the waiting. 

Isaiah 40 opens with a word from God to the Prophet. The statement contains the words and the way the prophet should speak to God's people in God's city. In verses 3 through 5, there is a snippet of what is yet to come, captured in the prophecy of the forerunner to the Messiah. After that, the passage delves into some commentary on the nature and reality of Our God... accentuated by the reality of us - mankind. 

31 years ago...

31 years ago I went on a Halloween date with a girl... Through a series of unexplained (but providential) events... things like VW Beetles with holes in the floor, Ghost Rallies, scared best friends in haunted houses, break up tapes, get-back-together tapes, love notes, giant pumpkins, long-distance phone bills that made for angry parents, burned-out clutches, worm t-shirts, over-loaded moving vans, multiple faulty alternators, hospital trips, dragging mufflers, living-accommodations in stranger's basements, rat-houses, old houses, run over dogs that survive, short nights, crying babies, long work hours, more dragging mufflers, root-clogged drain pipes, more basement living, more crying babies, long-distance moves, wing-and-a-prayer bill paying, over-flowing septic tanks, fallen trees, used cars, faulty gas tanks, leaking radiators, more bad alternators, ice storms, no air-conditioning road trips to the beach, zero-dollar paychecks, paying $6.83 to sell your own home, moving van road trips with a dog and two kids, guest-room living, bats in the attic, water in the basement, faulty wiring, old pickup trucks without brakes, dying pets, bi- and tri-vocational living, paying to sell your second home, hospital bills, bad backs, stress tests, fake pandemics, kids graduating, an old red van that won't quit working... we have, by God's grace, continued to weather every storm.

I'm convinced now, that you are my final destination each and every day. If changing one thing in the course of my life would mean that I'm not with you, then I would never change a thing. I praise God for the sweet and bitter providence that has led me to you and kept me with you.

Love you, babe.

Day 50 of Social Distancing

Today is day number 50 of my personal time of Social Distancing. I have found that staying on track and keeping busy on one task is one of my biggest challenges. One of the ways I handle this is to create a To-Do List... but I don't just make a list, that is too boring for these unprecedented times. 

My To-Do List for the Week

By the way... I hope I don't hear anyone else say, "...in these unprecedented times"!

I also don't want to hear one more company, simply add that statement to the beginning of their normal logo... 

"In these unprecedented times, we've got the meats!"

"In these unprecedented times, I'm loving it!"

"In these unprecedented times, you're still in good hands with Allstate."

Ugh.

Day 32 of Social Distancing

Today is April 17th, 2020... and it is day 32 of Social Distancing for me and my family.

Some prominent things to mention:

• I have tried to "social distance"... 
• I have only stepped foot into two different grocery stores, two different houses, and four other stores. 
• Watched all of the Taken Movies.
• Have created multiple tutorial videos for teachers and students. 
• Watched the Stephen King miniseries: The Stand.
• Was diagnosed with high blood pressure. (Right near the beginning, when we could still see doctors.)
• Started Blogging Again. 
• Bought mulch and spread it over landscaped areas around the house. 
• Watched all of the Hunger Games movies.
• Installed the electrical for a dryer and the plumbing for a washer... and hooked both up. 
• Re-Watched Stranger Things. 
• Bought a lawnmower... first time to ever own a new lawnmower!
• Read two books. 
• I have continued to read my Bible. 
• Had a family member survive the Virus.
• Been part of multiple online meetings. 
• Slept until 10:13am without realizing it. 
• I called everyone in my church (at least attempted) 2 times, and will try again tomorrow. 
• Had one of my sons ask a girl to marry him. 
• I have done an online church every week. 
• I have stayed up until 3am once on accident. 
• Re-Painted my bathroom ceiling. 
• Live-streamed prayer meetings every Wednesday night (and have found that I have better attendance for the live streaming prayer meeting than the actual prayer meeting. 
• Mowed the yard twice.
• I've taken multiple naps.
• I've learned that I genuinely miss work and all of those interactions. 

There's more here... but most likely nobody will read this anyway. If you do... I love ya!

Episode 04 - Sermon Prep and Saturday Update

Episode 04 is now available!

In this episode, I give a personal Sermon Prep Thoughts and my Saturday Update. If you attend my church, this episode might be helpful as it contains some "reviewing" of the previous few sermons at church.

 

If you don't go to my church, but would like to listen to the actual sermons online, you can visit Edgewood Sermon Audio on Anchor.FM

Just a Harmless Podcast - Episode 1 - Saturday Depression

Here is the first episode of my new (personal) podcast.
This first episode is titled: Saturday Depression.

    

If you listen to it, let me know: I would love to have some feedback.

(I know that this first one is pretty lame, but I just wanted to start it and see where it goes.)

we miss her when she's gone...

A couple of videos 

that I submit as evidence 

to how much we miss my wife 

when she is not in the house... 

You may draw your own conclusions... 

My math teacher told me the truth.

When I was in my Junior or Senior year of high school, I wasn't the best of kids. Sure, I wasn't the worst of kids, but I definitely wasn't the best... It was mostly about being mischievous, but there was a definite path that I was taking. I wasn't aware of this myself, when you are smack dab in the middle of the morality compass, it is easy to think about the fact that you really aren't all that bad.

On top of that, I knew the Word. My parents were both Christians, I went to church every Sunday, I went to a Christian School, I attended all of the revival services our church held, and I made my way to a Christian Camp in the summer. The Bible was something that I was very familiar with, but I was a hearer of the Word and not really a doer. All of this attendance was mandatory at that particular time of my life, so it was a faulty gauge for measuring my actual spirituality.

There were other things that should have made me aware of this reality, but I was self-deceived. That mischievous, rotten nature, that displayed the destructive path that I was taking, would peek out at every opportunity that it could. And the very first person that saw through all of that "required Christianity" was none other than my math teacher. He had caught me with something that had no business being in a Christian School. He pulled me out in the hall and said something to me that I have never forgotten.

It wasn't really profound or beautifully quotable, but it is the statement that I always use to mark the beginning of God's gracious work in my life. Once out in the hall, away from my peers, he simply said to me, "Matt Harmless, I don't believe that you are saved."

Of all of the things that could have been told to me, this ended up being exactly what I needed to hear. What a gracious God, to bring this analytically thinking man into my life, to brilliantly add up all of the loose ends and calculate all of the variables in my life and deduce, with the same logical mind that was teaching us mathematical proofs, that my faith added up to zero.

Those words rang in my ears for the next few years of my life. At first they seemed arrogant. "Who was he to tell me... ?" Then they were audacious and insulting, but eventually those words proved themselves to me to be true. And it was the sheer truth of those words that cut me to the heart.

It was another three or four years before I was eventually captured by God's extravagant grace, but when I tell the story of my salvation, I nearly always begin there - that moment in the hallway outside of my math class, when my math teacher figured it out and told me the truth. When I look back, I can see so clearly that those words were the first spark in the chain reaction of my own salvation.

Thank you, Mr. Cofer, for being brave enough and bold enough to tell me the truth.

Happy Little Cloud

I painted a happy little cloud...

Drifting away.

Painting number two...

Love Birds

My first attempt at acrylic painting...

twenty years

I have been married for twenty years... today.

There are so many things that I could blog about in regards to this anniversary. I want to say wonderful things about my wife... the wife of my youth. I could write of her beauty or her strength. I could tell you of the wonderful wife and mother that she is and continues to be and to excel at. I would be happy to wax eloquent of her great love for me and my great love for her. I would speak amiss if I failed to mention her spiritual depth and insight, especially as it pertains to her amazing ability to see through things and find the truth that is buried deep in the human heart: She is truly the best Biblical Counselor I know. If I told you of all of these things... I would only be scratching the surface of this multi-faceted woman that I am married to.

I could also tell you of our time together. Twenty years is not a short amount of time, you know. I could discuss the good days and the difficult days or the ups and downs of a real marriage. We are both sinners, but we said, "I do." and we meant it. As much as I absolutely love being married to my wife, we have been through some hard times: situations that have crumbled better marriages than ours, or so we thought.

I could tell you stories. The funniest, happiest, silliest, most ridiculous, most exciting, and most beautiful memories that I have are all associated with this one woman. I could tell you things that might crack you up or bring tears to your eyes, whether they be tears of joy or of sadness. I could share with you the places we've lived, the experiences we've had, and the challenges we've faced. We have parenting stories, traveling stories, job stories, stories of poverty, and stories of... well... more poverty.  We have seen sickness, sadness, and death, and we have seen these things together, in a true partnership in life.

O sure, there is much I could tell you... but there is really only one thing that I need to tell you, and it is this:
God  Is  Good.

My wife has been, and I am convinced will continue to be, a good gift from God, and I want to thank Him publicly for blessing me with this wonderful wife and granting me these twenty years.

Striking a Deep, Resonating Chord

I just started reading Charles Spurgeon: Preaching through Adversity by John Piper. I am going to share on this blog a portion of the introduction to this book because it struck such a deep, resonating chord with me.

If you know me in real life, you know that I have been really showing the wear and tear of trying to be a full-time pastor, a full-time teacher, a husband, a father... and everything else... a home-owner, a mechanic, a handy-man, after-school program, etc. etc. etc. I have been busy before, but I have never felt quite like I currently do.

So, when I read this introduction, I felt like I was taking a peek into my own soul. Therefore, I share this introduction to give you a peek...

Blessed by not being Blessed

The church where I am the pastor has seen some growth lately.  On Easter Sunday we had 4 baptisms, there have been others wanting to join the church, and several others who have been attending on a regular basis for a couple of months now.

I am struggling for the words to try to explain how exciting this has been for us.  You need to understand that we were averaging about 25 people, 3 months ago.  Lately it has been closer to 50 on several Sundays.  Then, this Easter we had 75 people in our building, when the previous Easter we had 15.  On a personal note, before the four baptisms that I performed on Easter Sunday, I had only performed three other baptisms total... in my whole life!  It has been very exciting.

To top everything else off, the people that are coming are the exact sort of people that I had been hoping for.  Nearly everyone that is new is someone who has either never been to church, or has not been to church in countless years.  There are even several who attended Edgewood when I was a child, who have come back now.  More than one person was convinced that the walls would come crashing down if they ever set foot in a church, and yet, here they are.

When I first came to Edgewood to be the Pastor, I had hopes of a revived church.  I prayed for it, I longed for it, and I diligently sought God for it. But instead of growing, we actually got a little smaller.  There were some families that just stopped coming.  Then there were some regulars who weren't as regular.  Things were getting quite slim, and there were several Sundays that the crickets were chirping and the tumbleweeds were blowing through.  We were hoping and praying for God to bring the unchurched through our doors, we were inviting people left and right, and our desire was simply in the Gospel of Jesus Christ being spread in our town.

To be totally honest, my confidence plummeted.  I started thinking that all of my sermons were horribly presented.  I started questioning my interactions with other people... was I nice enough?  ...did I say enough?  Everyone that left, I took it personally.  Every criticism was really a criticism of me.

But then something really neat and totally unexpected happened.  I became nothing.

It happened when one particular couple left the church. I couldn't believe it. I had tried everything I knew.  And with these people, I had really attempted to reach out to them and encourage them in any way that I could.  All of the stops had been pulled out and I still came up lacking.  I was really nothing in the process, but that is a good thing.

I mean, isn't this Christ's church anyway.  Isn't He the one who builds it?  Isn't it the Spirit who empowers it? I wasn't attempting to find my "nothingness" in the church, it just happened.  Then the more "nothing" I became, and the more okay I was with being nothing, the more the gospel started to seep into my life, becoming a part of my very psyche.

I really started to believe that it was all of grace.  It was all about what Jesus does and not about what I can do.  Consider how the gospel can play into our service:

For consider your calling, brothers: not many of you were wise according to worldly standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth. But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, so that no human being might boast in the presence of God. 

(1 Corinthians 1:26-29, ESV)

What a blessing it has been in God's timing.  I know for a fact, that if God would have brought people to our church when I first came here, I would have been tempted to glory in myself instead of in Him.  God has blessed me, by not blessing me, when I thought He should.

In the Catalog!

I made it into the Maranatha Baptist Bible College Catalog!

I am on page 95 of the catalog.  I am in the Math Education section.

I knew that they were thinking about putting me in there, but I hadn't heard whether or not they had actually done it.  I sent them my "teacher photo" from the school.

Click this picture to read my little write-up.  (Or you can click here to look at the education section of the school's catalog and scroll down to page 95.)

Pray

I think God wants me to pray.

I could have known this when Jesus told the parable about how we "ought always to pray and never lose heart."  Or what about when Paul says that we should "pray without ceasing."

I could have picked it up from Paul as he was giving young Timothy some teaching about how we should be making all sorts of prayers for all sorts of people.  He later tells Timothy that the men (especially) should pray everywhere.

I could have learned it from any of those passages, or a dozen others like them, but I didn't.  I learn most everything the hard way.  Through trials.

It is through difficulties and challenges that I turn to God most diligently.  I wish it wasn't so... I really do, but I know that it is.

Life has been fairly smooth for awhile now, but God has recently allowed me to face a couple of minor challenges.  These things have left me realizing, more than ever, the necessity of prayer in the Christian's life.  It is so important that John Bunyan said, "If thou art not a praying man, thou art not a Christian."

So, I have been praying.  Praying more than ever.  Getting up early to pray. Turning my headphones off while I am running, so I can pray.  Praying on the bus in the morning.  Praying on my walk to school.  Praying during the day for the kids.

I have been reading books on prayer and prayer books.  Anything I can do to assist my growth in prayer.

This morning, after the bus dropped me off and I was heading to school, I was praying while I was walking.  It lasted for a few moments, then I started to get distracted.  Just as my mind was leaving that state of prayer, I looked up and saw this sight.

Like I said, I could have known the importance of prayer from many different sources.  In the end though, God is graciously bringing these reminders into my life.  And I praise him for it.

If you are not a praying person, then I challenge you to be.  Get on your knees this week.  Pray.  Cry out to God.  Pray for your family and your friends.  Get a prayer book and pray through those prayers.  Pray through the Psalms.  Write your own prayers. Just Pray.