January 26, 2006
(I know...I know...Most of you are loyal Matt readers but I ask for your patience as I don't at present have a blog of my own and I like to post for the family! -Charity)
My friend Anne has taught me a saying in the last year and a half. She smiles at me with that familiar twinkle in her eyes and announces, "Make new friends...Keep the old. Some are silver and some are gold!"
I have to admit that I love it when she says it to me. I grin because I know that while I am currently her "silver"...Someday, maybe, I might be a "gold". I'm confident that she is in this friendship for the long haul and that is reassuring in a world and in my own life where not much seems stable.
Around nine months ago, Anne invited me over to her house for dinner on a Thursday night. She was having some of her friends over in a need to fulfill her cooking obsession (I don't know how I attract these people!) and she was pushing to get me to break out and meet some new women.
I hate making new friends.
That's as frank as I can be. I stress most of the time in a worry that I am appearing foolish and being in this new place without knowing anyone, I am constantly the outsider when it comes to memories and stories. I didn't want to go but I forced myself into the van and made my way to what is today known as our "Supper Club".
It was on those Thursday nights of eating and talking and just plain silliness that I met some of the most interesting and delightful women that one can happen upon.
I find myself very blessed because this has occurred for me more than once in different places we have moved to.
Sometimes in the middle of the evening when we are solving the world's problems or I am laughing until my sides hurt...I remember the others that have been apart of my life before and I feel guilty. It seems a little "disloyal". It is then, that I reassure myself that they are my "gold" and the "silver" for me is welcomed and appreciated in a time that could be very lonely.
Some nights, Supper Club is full to the brim with cackling ladies that have pre-planned to abandon their hubbies and children for a night of home-cooked food and chocolate of some sort...while other evenings there are just the starter three- Charity, Diane and Anne. "Queen Anne"-as my husband likes to call her because she is like a fine lace and we are all willing to do whatever she commands!
Diane is my single friend and frankly, despite the fact that I'm sure she'd like a husband and family, I love her just the way she is. Available! She's from the North and it is strange that I felt very connected to her right from the beginning. She is gentle and kind and I had forgotten that friendship could be so easy. She's the type of person that you wish you could tape record her stories so you could play them over and over again. I just never get tired of hearing about her memories.
The day I found out that our baby had died, it was my Supper Club that rushed a meal to the house and ate chocolates with me while I cried. That's when I knew that our Thursday night dinners weren't about "getting away" as some moms feel the need to do or shallow togetherness, but a real fellowship that comes with friendship focused on truth.
It is my hope to one day "collide" my worlds and be able to do a Thursday night with my old and new friends. I think that could be really great.
Meanwhile, I hope they are developing a "Supper Club" of their own and remembering how great friendship is and how important it is to reach out to others. In a world where women are so petty and competitive, we have forgotten that we need each other for support and encouragement to keep at it.
So, for those of you that are hiding out or stuck in your click-Remember...
"Make new friends, keep the old. Some are silver and some are gold!"