October 16, 2005

Day #2 - Alone

Fear.

Twice today my mind began to drift. Actually it drifts all of the time, but today there were two very specific drifts that occurred. Both of these drifts really stuck out in my mind, because they were both fear-based.

Two times today I began to contemplate the loss of my family. I hadn't really thought about it, but I suppose it is because I am alone right now. So my mind drifted off to a reality where I had lost a member of my family. How would it feel? What would I do? Could I handle it?

There are a lot of people in this world that I have close contact with on a weekly basis, and many of those people I truly care about. But there are only three people that I can't imagine being without: my wife and my two sons.

Losing any one of them, or all of them, is my greatest fear. If I allowed myself to think too long about, I could almost get panicky wondering where they are and what they are doing. Are they safe? Are they being careful? And then... God, are you watching out for them.

Of course, He is.

Today, right when I was in the middle of one of these mental drifts, I was snapped back into reality when my pastor was quoting from the Bible. He was saying, "...Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forever."

And there it was.

I set my fears aside. I re-focused my attention on to what is today. God has always been good. He is good today. And whatever future lies waiting for me. God is there, and He is good.