January 17, 2007

contractable

Every day on my way to the school I pray. I ask for wisdom and discernment. I plead for patience. I ask God to help me to be motivated while I am there and to be happy and content with this job. But I always preface this prayer by saying, "Lord, if there is any way that you could relieve me of this... I would take it. But you haven't. So I ask for wisdom and etc., etc."

So, today my wife gets a call from this guy in my church and he tells her that he is "looking for a truck driver," and "...would Matt be interested?"

Of course I would! Get to be a truck driver and make some good money. Get to come home at night and not have to think about what I have to talk about tomorrow. Get to move some boxes around and not have to worry about them talking back to me. Of course, of course, of course I would... If only he would have called yesterday!

You see, last night I signed my contract. Less than 24 hours before this call I signed my life away. Can you believe it?!? The job that I have been looking for these last few months finally comes my way, but just a little too late.

I am thinking that this is some kind of cruel joke. Even though this isn't the first time something like this has happened to me. Once, when I was first trying to decide whether or not I should go back to college, I was torn betwen that and starting in an electrician's apprenticeship. The day after the deadline which I had set to choose the college route I received a letter of acceptance to be an electrician. Now the same thing is happening. I just can't believe that I get the call the day after the contract signing.

But then my wife says to me, "hmm. It seems kind of reassuring to me. It is almost like God is saying, 'I could have given you a way out. At any time I could have done this, but I didn't.'" I guess that is a little reassuring, but I am still tempted to try to get out of my contract.

Although I think that you and I both know that I won't.