In case any of you have forgotten...

 From The Book of Common Prayer, 1662

The Pastor: Into this holy union (the Man) and (the Woman) now come to be joined. If any of you can show just cause why they may not lawfully be married, speak now; or else for ever hold your peace.

The Pastor: I require and charge you both, here in the presence of God, that if either of you know any reason why you may not be united in marriage lawfully, and in accordance with God's Word, you do now confess it.

The Pastor: (The Woman) will you have this man to be your husband; to live together in the covenant of marriage? Will you love him, comfort him, honor and keep him, in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all others, be faithful to him as long as you both shall live?

The Woman answers, "I will."

The Pastor: (The Man) will you have this woman to be your wife; to live together in the covenant of marriage? Will you love her, comfort her, honor and keep her, in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all others, be faithful to her as long as you both shall live?

The Man answers, "I will."

The Pastor: Will all of you witnessing these promises do all in your power to uphold these two persons in their marriage?

The People answer, "We Will."

The Pastor: The Lord be with you.

The People respond, "And also with you."

The Pastor: Let us pray.

The Pastor: O gracious and everliving God, you have created us male and female in your image: Look mercifully upon this man and this woman who come to you seeking your blessing, and assist them with your grace, that with true fidelity and steadfast love they may honor and keep the promises and vows they make; through Jesus Christ our Savior, who lives and reigns with you in the unity of the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.

The man, facing the woman and taking her right hand in his, says, "In the Name of God, I, (the Man), take you, (the Woman), to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death. This is my solemn vow."

Then they loose their hands, and the Woman, still facing the man, takes his right hand in hers, and says, "In the Name of God, I, N., take you, N., to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death. This is my solemn vow."

They loose their hands.

The Pastor: Bless, O Lord, this ring to be a sign of the vows by which this man and this woman have bound themselves to each other; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

The giver places the ring on the ring-finger of the other's hand and says, "(The Man and then the Woman), I give you this ring as a symbol of my vow, and with all that I am, and all that I have, I honor you, in the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit."

The Pastor: Now that (The Man) and (The Woman) have given themselves to each other by solemn vows, with the joining of hands and the giving and receiving of a ring, I pronounce that they are husband and wife, in the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.

The Pastor: Those whom God has joined together let no one put asunder.

All the People say, "Amen."

31 years ago...

31 years ago I went on a Halloween date with a girl... Through a series of unexplained (but providential) events... things like VW Beetles with holes in the floor, Ghost Rallies, scared best friends in haunted houses, break up tapes, get-back-together tapes, love notes, giant pumpkins, long-distance phone bills that made for angry parents, burned-out clutches, worm t-shirts, over-loaded moving vans, multiple faulty alternators, hospital trips, dragging mufflers, living-accommodations in stranger's basements, rat-houses, old houses, run over dogs that survive, short nights, crying babies, long work hours, more dragging mufflers, root-clogged drain pipes, more basement living, more crying babies, long-distance moves, wing-and-a-prayer bill paying, over-flowing septic tanks, fallen trees, used cars, faulty gas tanks, leaking radiators, more bad alternators, ice storms, no air-conditioning road trips to the beach, zero-dollar paychecks, paying $6.83 to sell your own home, moving van road trips with a dog and two kids, guest-room living, bats in the attic, water in the basement, faulty wiring, old pickup trucks without brakes, dying pets, bi- and tri-vocational living, paying to sell your second home, hospital bills, bad backs, stress tests, fake pandemics, kids graduating, an old red van that won't quit working... we have, by God's grace, continued to weather every storm.

I'm convinced now, that you are my final destination each and every day. If changing one thing in the course of my life would mean that I'm not with you, then I would never change a thing. I praise God for the sweet and bitter providence that has led me to you and kept me with you.

Love you, babe.

Sacrificial Love & Faithful Submission

twenty years

I have been married for twenty years... today.

There are so many things that I could blog about in regards to this anniversary. I want to say wonderful things about my wife... the wife of my youth. I could write of her beauty or her strength. I could tell you of the wonderful wife and mother that she is and continues to be and to excel at. I would be happy to wax eloquent of her great love for me and my great love for her. I would speak amiss if I failed to mention her spiritual depth and insight, especially as it pertains to her amazing ability to see through things and find the truth that is buried deep in the human heart: She is truly the best Biblical Counselor I know. If I told you of all of these things... I would only be scratching the surface of this multi-faceted woman that I am married to.

I could also tell you of our time together. Twenty years is not a short amount of time, you know. I could discuss the good days and the difficult days or the ups and downs of a real marriage. We are both sinners, but we said, "I do." and we meant it. As much as I absolutely love being married to my wife, we have been through some hard times: situations that have crumbled better marriages than ours, or so we thought.

I could tell you stories. The funniest, happiest, silliest, most ridiculous, most exciting, and most beautiful memories that I have are all associated with this one woman. I could tell you things that might crack you up or bring tears to your eyes, whether they be tears of joy or of sadness. I could share with you the places we've lived, the experiences we've had, and the challenges we've faced. We have parenting stories, traveling stories, job stories, stories of poverty, and stories of... well... more poverty.  We have seen sickness, sadness, and death, and we have seen these things together, in a true partnership in life.

O sure, there is much I could tell you... but there is really only one thing that I need to tell you, and it is this:
God  Is  Good.

My wife has been, and I am convinced will continue to be, a good gift from God, and I want to thank Him publicly for blessing me with this wonderful wife and granting me these twenty years.

Joy in Marriage

I love my wife. I love being married to her. I love her as a person. I love spending time with her. I usually wouldn't care if I was with anyone at all, but if I have a chance to spend time with her, I always take it if I can. I am not going to lie to you.... this isn't a chore in any way shape or form... she brings me great joy.

Does this make me selfish? Am I only loving her because of the joy she brings me? On the contrary, doesn't it bring her greater honor and a greater sense of love if I enjoy my love?

Consider these words of John Piper:

A Great Decision

In October 1989, sometime near Halloween, there was a Ghost Rally hosted by the Lynch Fire Dept. I borrowed my dad's Chevy S-10 pickup, called a friend to see if they wanted to go, and then... called a girl.

Her name was Charity. I had had a crush on this girl for quite a while, but she was definitely "out of my league," if you know what I mean. It was a long shot, and I figured that at Ghost Rally would be casual enough that I could get a "yes" from this girl, even if she didn't actually like-like me.

She said yes... and she did like me.

I was eventually engaged to this girl (more than once). We were eventually married. And even though Halloween can be controversial (I guess) to some Christians, it has been redeemed for me. Twenty Five Halloweens later, we are still together and we are still getting ready to go on a Ghost Rally. I love her more now than I ever have, and I am fairly certain that asking her to that Ghost Rally was one of the best decisions that I have ever made.

For the last several years I have doctored up an old photo into a Halloween-themed image. Here is this year's rendition to celebrate 25 years.

I just want you to listen...

I have been trying to think of some commentary to add to this clip, but I just don't think I can do better than the video's description from YouTube:

"Don't try to fix it. I just need you to listen." Every man has heard these words. And they are the law of the land. No matter what.

I will say that I am almost positive that I have had this exact conversation, except without the nail.

 

HT: 22 Words

God is Good

From the Desiring God Blog:

On January 4, 2011, on Twitter, Pastor John wrote: 

Marriage. The roots are deep. The covenant is solid. The love is sweet. Life is hard. And God is good. 

The quote is a rewrite of what Pastor John wrote in 2003 to Noël in the preface to his book Desiring God. 

But when the quote appeared on Twitter in 2011, a woman named Patty Hurtarte copied it into her journal with no immediate purpose for it. But almost two years later she returned to the quote, used her artistic skill to turn it into a design, framed it and gifted her illustration to her pastor and his wife, Joshua and Shannon Harris.

I found these words felt especially profound after my Ordination Ceremony this weekend.  My wife has been with me every step of the way.  She makes everything special.

Here is that design:

My daily companion...

Richard Baxter said of marriage,

"It is a mercy to have a faithful friend, that loveth you entirely, and is as true to you as yourself, to who you may open your mind and communicate your affairs, and who could be ready to strengthen you, and divide the cares of your affairs and family with you, and help you to bear your burdens and comfort you in your sorrows, and be the daily companion of your lives and partaker of your joys and sorrows.  And it is a mercy to have so near a friend to be a helper to your soul; to join with you in prayer and other holy exercises; to watch over you and tell you of your sins and dangers, and to stir up in you the grace of God, and remember to you of the life to come, and cheerfully accompany you in the ways of holiness."

I am glad that I have that in my own sweet wife.

Love Letter by D. Martyn Lloyd Jones

This letter was written by Martyn Lloyd Jones when he was 40 years old.

My dear Bethan,
Thank you for your letter of this morning, though I am very angry that you should have been up till 11:30 PM writing it! I see that you are quite incorrigible! The idea that I shall become used to being without you is really funny. I could speak for a long time on the subject. As I have told you many, many times, the passing of the years does nothing but deepen and intensify my love for you. When I think of those days in London in 1925 and ’26, when I thought that no greater love was possible, I could laugh.
But honestly, during this last year I had come to believe that it was not possible for a man to love his wife more than I loved you. And yet I see that there is no reason to live, and that it is still true that “absence makes the heart grow fonder.” I am quite certain that there is no lover, anywhere, writing to his girl who is quite as mad about her as I am. Indeed I pity those lovers who are not married. Well, I had better put a curb on things or I shall spend the night writing to you . . . .
Ever yours,
—Martyn

(via Desiring God)

Weekend to Remember!

My wife and I are getting ready to have a weekend to remember.

Ok.  Now that I lost 50% of my readers... What I am talking about is the Family Life Weekend to Remember. I have had several different people trying to talk me into going on one of these for quite awhile, and I finally gave in!  

I have heard great things about this conference, and in an age when marriage is being attacked on all fronts, something that supports marriage is a good thing.  I will let you know what I think about it when I get back.

14 Years of Marriage

Stay at home Dads?

My view of Mark Driscoll just jumped up about 100 notches. It is his response to a question about stay-at-home dads.



[HT: fingertoe.com]

... or you're no man!

Here is a great John Piper quote.

If there is a sound downstairs during the night and it might be a burglar, you don’t say to her, "This is an egalitarian marriage, so it's your turn to go check it out. I went last time." And I mean that–even if your wife has a black belt in karate. After you’ve tried to deter him, she may finish off the burglar with one good kick to the solar plexus. But you’d better be unconscious on the floor, or you’re no man.
- John Piper, This Momentary Marriage

[HT: I found this over at the blog Challies dot com. And Challies was referring it from a blog called Collegiately Collected Quotes.]