September 7, 2004

compatibility

fun game or dangerous word

Compatibility.

In the last week I have crossed paths with this word more than once. Most recently, I played a game called Compatibility. It is a game that was made for couples, and in this game you get to find out whether or not you are "compatible" with your partner.

Each player is given a deck of cards that is composed of various pictures and words. During each round of the game you are given a word and the players have to pick out 2 to 5 cards (depending upon the place in the game) that they feel best suit that word. They initially place their cards face down and then each couple will reveal their cards in order to see how "compatible" they are. It can be fun to play, mostly because it is always entertaining to hear why people picked out certain cards for certain words.

I also ran across the word, compatibility, in a book that I am reading. It is called Christian Living in the Home by Jay E. Adams, and in the book there is a subtitle that says:
The Myth of Compatibility.

He then follows with this paragraph:

"Compatibility is a dangerous word. It does not occur in Scripture, and the concept - as normally set forth in contemporary writing and as used in popular parlance - is quite misleading and unscriptural. The common concept of compatibility, when followed by Christians and non-Christians alike, can lead to disastrous consequences."

We usually see this concept coming up when single people are looking for a potential spouse. They are questioning whether or not they are compatible with this person or that person. Then they will meet somebody that they are "more compatible" with. And suddenly, before they know it, they are waiting for this perfect person, the ideal mate; the one that they have been waiting for their whole lives. It is their "perfect match" or their "soul-mate" that will magically complete them because they were "meant-to-be."

"The Biblical fact is that no two persons are compatible... We are all born sinners, and that means that we are by nature incompatible people. For any two people to be compatible in any true sense of the terms means that they first must become Christians and then work (by God's grace) hard at the task of becoming compatible. People are not born compatible, they only become compatible by the sanctifying work of the Holy Spirit in their lives."

I would agree with Jay Adams on this one, but there is one thing that I am not quite sure about... I am never one to place personal experience up on a pedestal, but I know that my wife is the perfect complement to me, and that I am the perfect complement to her. I absolutely cannot imagine life without her, it just wouldn't be a whole life.

To be honest with you, I am not really sure how all of this ties together, but let me share with you some basic Biblical truths that I believe could apply, regardless of the situation:

Know that God is in control.
  • "The LORD will work out his plans for my life..." Psalm 138:8a
  • "We can make our plans, but the LORD determines our steps." Proverbs 16:9

Know that God is good.

  • "You are good and do only good..." Psalm 119:68
  • "O Lord, you are so good, so ready to forgive, so full of unfailing love for all who ask your aid. " Psalm 86:5

Know that God doesn't hide his best from us.

  • "The LORD, your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel, says: I am the LORD your God, who teaches you what is good and leads you along the paths you should follow. Oh, that you had listened to my commands! Then you would have had peace flowing like a gentle river and righteousness rolling like waves." Isaiah 48:17,18

To the singles: May you grow in your faith today, and trust that God is in control and He will guide your steps.

To the married: May you thank God today for what He has given you. May you repent if you have not been keeping up your end of the bargain. And may you seek forgiveness today for any harm that you have caused to the one with whom you are the most compatible