as I was growing up, I always thought that I would be the best dad. I don't know why I thought this, I just did.
I loved kids, and usually chose to play with them at family outings and such. I also had two younger sisters, and for the most part I enjoyed playing with them. I was almost 15 when my youngest sister was born, so I was very familiar with the whole thing... or so I thought.
I had a sobering moment a couple of days ago. I looked at my children and thought, "all of the bad things they do, they learned from me." It was depressing, but oh-so-true!
Now, sometimes, I look at my kids and I wonder if I am any good at this daddy thing at all. If they survive this earth it won't be because of me, that is for sure. It will be because of the grace of God.
I wonder about that kind of thing too.
ReplyDeleteI know that we're all fallen and screw it up so often. I just know that I can't stop my kids picking up that kind of thing from me.
The thing I keep coming back to is that there is no way I can be the father I should be, no matter how hard I try. Therefore I have to stay close to God and let my kids see that, so that even if they pick up lots of other crap from me, they'll also pick up a desire to stay close to him.